my holidays were one of the most productive ones i ever had. ofc there were bad days too and i don’t wanna lie that i‘m fine, but i‘m still okay - and hey, i‘m alive! 

my family and me went to a lake and the sunset there was wholesom! i hope i can forever experience sunsets like that one!

i went to a prep course for my last year having maths and i think it was useful. i hope that i won’t do so bad in maths this last yr!

then my siblings and me visited a museum abt optical illusions. it was so funny with them and i think especially the smallest ones enjoyed it pretty much. me as their oldest sister love to seem them all laugh - that‘s why i think i could love having kids myself a lot. 

also me, my sis and some old friends  met and went to a cooking course  and we cooked moroccan food - it  was pretty spicy but soo good! 

and i found a new coffee - "daily coffee" - it‘s so cute and i went there two times with different people and the cake, matcha & caramel latte macchiato were perfect! i hope to enjoy their food & drinks more often in the future.   

last but not least i met a friend from school for the very first time and she‘s so … cute! (my brother would laugh: "how can u call ur friends cute?!") we went to a museum to an aesthetic exhibition, walked a LOT through the city & went to daily coffee & talked and talked and talked! it was so funny and relaxing to speak to a new friend and i think we two could rly become good friends in the near future. 

at least i‘m feeling more alive again. ik that this feeling will fade with the first falling of the leaves in autumn & with me turning 20 (too old to still go to school and to be so lost in life). but i guess it‘s better to not walk this path alone but with some old and some new friends who can get u distracted from ur depressive thoughts.

i think i love the world just as it is.

maybe soon i can even start to love myself.  

maybe sth has to end for sth else to begin:

my love to another person for the love to the world & myself - sounds like a good deal to me. 🤍

well… holidays. there are ups, there are downs.

i‘m gonna meet my former very best friend for the first time in what… three years? idk how it will be between us - if we‘re gonna have normal conversations? i‘ll see in two days…

and i haven‘t heard of him since a few months. i see - this time he is for real. the times before he has always come back. ik the fault is mine but still somehow i‘m still hoping for ”us“ to be a possible thing sometime. but i‘ll try to stay realistic again. 

but nevertheless the last few weeks were kinda beautiful and calm and i was outside much - i think u can guess it - enjoying nature. i have taken some pictures and showed them some ppl and one person told me to look how i could sell with these pictures i take because they‘re good. but i‘m a bit lazy… 

also i‘m reading a lot more these weeks and i hope it won‘t be bad for me cuz i forget and forget the things we learned in school more & more. it‘s btw gonna be my last yr in school and so i‘ll write my high school diploma (abitur) and i‘m… scared. but ok, i‘ll see if i can make it!

what a week! (it‘s not even the middle of it but nvm) idk why so much has happened these last days. but well it happened so what should i do abt it? 

first things first : egypt has lost against argentinia. well me as an (half)egypt am so proud but i must also say that i‘m not that much into football normally - it‘s just that it was the first time egypt won any game in a fifa world cup so i‘m a lil excited abt that. but now that it lost to argentinia (and from my pov honestly it wasn‘t that much of a fair game for egypt!) i‘m not any less proud of the team. we should appreciate that this year‘s world cup is (until now) so much different than any games before - well, it‘s just a lot of fun.

and secondly : i went hiking with class and we even went into a cave and it was my first time inside a cave & it wasn‘t even that cold as i had imigined! the view on the top of the mountain (inside the clouds!!!) was stunning ✨ i‘m just such a nature-person so even if my legs hurt so much and i almost fainted bcz of all that walking i loved that trip! it‘s so true that nature lets u forget abt your worries (and i had many).

so remember : if you‘re not in good mood, pls give ur soul some time to recover, go out & appreciate nature as it embraces u into a soft warm hug like no one ever did before ♥️